I don't use the words gay and retarded as pejoratives to describe anything that isn't cool or nice or good. I use the word gay to describe homosexuality. I don't think I even use the word retarded.
Gender words, however, I have no problem with. While I don't use the word pussy to classify behavior, I will happily use the word pussyfication to describe something. And I've proved it today in forum.

It's all context and the meaning behind these words.
I also use the word cunt occasionally in a non-gender related way, much like the English seem to do. That doesn't go over well a lot of times. I'm not going to stop though.
As far as labeling goes, human brains are pretty much wired to assign labels. We build our perceptions of future behavior from experiences in our past.