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Originally Posted by TheBrit
I've asked her to masturbate for me, no go, she's too shy/self concious.
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Martian has really hit this one on the head, so there really isn't much to say other than lend my voice in support.
I've known women (and more than few men, for that matter...) who were extremely, even dysfunctionally bashful in the bedroom for any number of reasons (poor self-image, religious 'conditioning,'...). It usually takes the hand of a encouraging girlfriend or boyfriend to finally help them deal with it. Sure it's her hang-up, but she's not going to deal with it herself. It's just easier to avoid, or sidestep the whole issue...
As for the masturbation thing...help her out. Masturbate with her, for her, give her a hand...anything to help her feel more like she's participating rather than on display. You don't go to the party if you know you're not going to have a good time, right? So, get her involved, get her relaxed and get her off.