Flat5, you must be a genius. It was indeed a SINGLE bad memory slot causing the problem. All 4 DIMMS worked fine by themselves, and it turned that just the one memory slot was the problem. So I now have a working powerhouse with half a gig less memory, my dad's computer has half a gig more, and there's a brand new Asus P4P800E-Deluxe about to go on Ebay.
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