I got the same argument from the spouse-that I never initiate it. Wasn't entirely true, as I did on occasion. But, relationship problems aside, I'll give a quick rundown from at least one perspective(which I'm sure will be countered, but that's ok)
We're tired. The last thing on our minds after work, kids, house, bills, chores, etc is sex. It's work too. Sometimes a nice quick fuck is great. But you love us-you don't WANT a quickie, you want to get us to the big O. After a while we figured that's the modus operandi, so we don't even bother saying 'want a quickie?'
If you've mentioned to her that you'd like HER to initiate and take control and she hasn't the best thing you can do is be patient. We DO get horny, we'd just rather sleep
