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Originally Posted by radioguy
perfect!!!! i wanted to ask ya'll something but didn't want to start another thread about girls....anyways, i met this chic from work for drinks at a bar. we sat there for 5 hours, never a silent moment, laughed, joked, just chatted. it was awesome....except she has a boyfriend. she asked him to go, but didn't want to go out. we are attracted to each other and we do have feelings for each other, but she has a boyfriend of 2 years. she did do some complaining about him that nights, he called a couple of times and wasn't happy about her being out. anyways, when the bar closed, we said our goodbyes and we kissed. i'm driving home that night and get a call from her asking where i was...i told her and she said she was following me. we get back to my place and chat some more and then start making out, that's all. my question is: why would a woman spend 7 hours with a guy, make out with him, if she has a boyfriend of two years????? am i a fling to get her out of a rut or does she want/desire more than what she has???? i'm just curious.....thanks DOC!
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I guess it's officially time to claim who I am. I am a trained psychologist but I am not a doctor. I guess you all can call me a doctor but I'm not. I do plan on getting my Ph.D. someday, but I haven't yet.
Now, on to the question. I have no idea what's going on there. Psychologists haven't broken the male/female divide yet. I'm just as clueless coming out of my professional training as I was when I went in. Girls are just weird.
But, based on your recollection of the events, she may be deciding if she wants to stay with the boyfriend or move on to another relationship. After two years, it is probably difficult for her to choose to move on to something else. A sense of familiarilty is involved there. If she's living with him, it's even more difficult to make a move. There's the physical aspect of finding another place to live, physically moving out of his house, etc.
There's also a psychological bond. Again, difficulty to make a move after an extended period together. Some people feel insecure without being attached to another person. (I'm one of those people.)
I'm not certain exactly what she was trying to get out of you. You might need to have a talk with her about what exactly she was doing. Cheating on her boyfriend is not a good thing unless she's serious about getting with you. I'm not even certain what ages, although if you were at a bar, you were probably at least 18, if not 21 (fake IDs?). Sounds like it's time to have a conversation with her about what she wants.