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I love both of them as if they where my own. .
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You said the magic words there... that's all that matters.
Should you take the mom back? Only you can decide that.. Sounds like the girls and you are going to have enough upheaval in their life right now... Do you want the added stressor of a woman who's proven more than once she can't be trusted?
I ready for something like this?
Only you know for sure.. Knowing you love them is a big step, I'm not sure any parent is ever truly ready for parenthood. They have nine months to try and prepare... you've got a day or so... It's kinda like getting into a cold pool - you just jump right in and I'm sure it will be fine.
If i am how do i know?
You do the best that you can for yourself and for the girls... that's all you cando
If I am not, is there a way to back out of this?
You can always call CPS again, and tell them that it's more of a responsibility than you can handle right now.. No one would think any less of you, and I'd hope that the girls went to good homes that would love them.
If i do Back out will i ever forgive myself?
You just say you did the best you could and you wanted to do better for the girls.. it's nothing for you to forgive yourself for.
Take a deep breath... and decide if this is what you really want - it's a helluva undertaking... one I'm sure you will do fine with.. kids are resiliant and they're relatively low maintenance...
One thing to consider-- do you have child care available for the girls while you are working - maybe that type of help would give you the confidence that you need to be a full time dad... just having someone there as a safety net.