Quote:
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Originally Posted by ratbastid
Somewhere, there's a conscious choice waiting for you to make it. A choice to get out beyond how you know yourself and other people and the world, or to BE the introvert you are for yourself. A choice between giving up everything you think you know in exchange for what might be possible if you gave it up, OR staying exactly where you are, comfortable in the knowledge that you "are" shy, and accepting all the negative stuff that comes with that. In short, a choice between freedom and safety.
Either one is fine, once you choose it. All that's going on here is, either you haven't made that choice yet, or you have, and you're not telling the truth to yourself about it.
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Let me try this again without the self pity and arguing.
Obviously I do want to venture out, so I don't know why I keep trying to defend playing it safe. If I didn't want to move out, if I were comfortable where I am, I'd have just said, "Screw the Thanksgiving party, the other English professors and Dr. Departmenthead, I don't care what those people think, I'm just going to stay home where I'm comfortable." But I didn't do that, I went, I took a big risk. It didn't pay off, but at least I can say I tried, and I learned some stuff that I can apply at the next party, if I decide to go, that is. So despite how I keep trying to defend the status quo, my decisions seem to indicate differently.
So let's assume for a moment that I do want to learn how to move out beyond myself, what comes next?
Gilda