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But sex will always remain a big question mark to them.
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True, I can grant that -- it's hard to know something until you experience it.
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It is unfortunately a rite that we have to pass to enter into manhood
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Perhaps. In some sense, that is what American (and many other) societies have described it as. Do I think it really, fundamentally has anything to do with manhood? No, I don't. I think there are plenty of things I have done that are a better representation of my maturity and manhood than just sex. But, society does tend to create this image of sex as that rite of passage -- into manhood or womanhood. Whether or not that is as important as you say is a matter of individual internalization of this pespective.
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Can anyone who lost his virginity claim that it all went with total confidence. We all ask ourselves questions when doing it for the first time, even more than before doing it. "Is that the right hole?" "Why can't I ejaculate?" "How does it feel for her?" "What's that expression on her face, what am I doing wrong?" "I'm coming, was it too fast?"
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I agree, I suspect that no one who lost their virginity had complete confidence when doing it. I know I didn't. However, I would say that some (or perhaps even many) of those questions are still applicable even after you've gained this "confidence." "How does it feel for her" or "what's that expression on her face mean" or "what am I doing wrong; what can I do better" are not something you answer once and for all by losing your virginity; you should ask it all the time to make sure you are being the best lover possible. And I think you would agree with this -- I am just explicitly stating it all because you seem to have been focusing on virginity, specifically, with less focus on the process of as a whole.
Point is: losing your virginity is an act like any other; however, it is given a great/lesser degree of strength from whatever society and culture you are in. How much this affects someone, and therefore affects their perception of losing their virginity, is dependent on how much they internalize this pressure and how they perceive sex themselves. Ultimately, this means there is no prescribed outcome for how losing their virginity will affect someone and therefore generalizations about gaining confidence, losing confidence, feeling better/worse about sex -- whatever -- have no substantative grounds. Confidence for a person can be gained without sex; confidence in sex, as I think you might be talking about (and might have been referring to when you said "acting, and practising, and loving" or a "process") is not intrinsically gained by losing your viriginity, even if it answers a "question", but more by experience and constant improvement.
Did I wonder about sex and such when I was a virgin? Sure I did; a lot. Do I regret not losing my virginity when I was younger? At the time, no, but now, yes -- for many different reasons. Did it make a difference when I did? Maybe, but I don't really think so. But even so, when I step back and consider it objectively, do I really think that sex as an act itself -- minus the chaff that is societal, cultural, and peer pressures -- is hugely profound? No, I don't.
Sim