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Originally Posted by cybermike
It's not like you can just choose to not let something affect you.
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Um, actually, it IS exactly like that. We live like our thoughts and feelings just "happen" to us, and that they are some reflection of truth. That's one way to live, and it seems to be the way that most people live. I've found that I enjoy my life much more, though, when I realize that my thoughts and feelings are just background noise, and are not the "real" me. They are something that the real me can choose to pay attention to or ignore depending on what I'm committed to at the time. If I'm just going about my business, chances are I'll listen to the "shy talk" and not really bother to approach people. But if I'm at a party where I can either choose to be miserable and wish I knew what to say, or I can just dive in and damn the consequences, I have a lot more fun when I thank the little voices for sharing and go talk to that interesting-looking person and make a new acquaintance isntead of wasting my time being miserable.
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I don't think Gilda wants to stay shy, but you can't just become assertive without causing tons of stress and anxiety.
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You can, actually. You just have to remember that the shit in your head is not real.