Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How Long Before Marriage? Is it that Important?

little_tippler · 11-08-2005, 08:53 AM

I didn't want to hijack the thread on -Ever-'s girlfriend, where he wasn't sure if she was cheating and many tfper's suggested it had something to do with him ducking out of a family wedding...and I was wondering.

It really struck me as odd for people to say that at 22, and having been together ONLY 2 years (I don't think it's so much time), marriage and life-long commitment should be on the cards soon - and that would be why his girlfriend was acting weird as his not going to the wedding signalled that he didn't want that kind of commitment (with family etc.) with her.

22 is very young. Some people are ready at 22, some are not. I dare say most people are not ready at 22. And 2 years together isn't that long. I have a friend who once said to me, when I had reached a 2 year point in a relationship and was having problems, that only when you reach the two year mark do you really know the other person inside out, and even so there's always more to know.

I feel that 2 years into a relationship is a big make or break point in that you have seen all the good and the bad, more or less. And at that point is when you either really embrace the person you're with or you let go. I don't think that this "embracing" has to mean marriage.

I myself am into a 3 years going on four relationship, and at 25, I am not thinking about marriage yet. Should I be worrying? Well, as some know I'm not the biggest wedding fan, as it doesn't hold much importance to me. I'd like to get married, don't get me wrong.

My SO as far as I know isn't in a rush to get married, but I know he loves me and is there for me and plans on being with me for a while yet. We may marry, we may not. Should I plan my life around the fact that at 2 years of relationship he didn't bring up the subject of marriage, and we haven't seriously talked about it since, except to say it's a possibility? We have enjoyed each other and have done so through our entire relationship. Is that not enough?

I'd like to know what you think about this.

11-08-2005, 08:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	How Long Before Marriage? Is it that Important? I didn't want to hijack the thread on -Ever-'s girlfriend, where he wasn't sure if she was cheating and many tfper's suggested it had something to do with him ducking out of a family wedding...and I was wondering. It really struck me as odd for people to say that at 22, and having been together ONLY 2 years (I don't think it's so much time), marriage and life-long commitment should be on the cards soon - and that would be why his girlfriend was acting weird as his not going to the wedding signalled that he didn't want that kind of commitment (with family etc.) with her. 22 is very young. Some people are ready at 22, some are not. I dare say most people are not ready at 22. And 2 years together isn't that long. I have a friend who once said to me, when I had reached a 2 year point in a relationship and was having problems, that only when you reach the two year mark do you really know the other person inside out, and even so there's always more to know. I feel that 2 years into a relationship is a big make or break point in that you have seen all the good and the bad, more or less. And at that point is when you either really embrace the person you're with or you let go. I don't think that this "embracing" has to mean marriage. I myself am into a 3 years going on four relationship, and at 25, I am not thinking about marriage yet. Should I be worrying? Well, as some know I'm not the biggest wedding fan, as it doesn't hold much importance to me. I'd like to get married, don't get me wrong. My SO as far as I know isn't in a rush to get married, but I know he loves me and is there for me and plans on being with me for a while yet. We may marry, we may not. Should I plan my life around the fact that at 2 years of relationship he didn't bring up the subject of marriage, and we haven't seriously talked about it since, except to say it's a possibility? We have enjoyed each other and have done so through our entire relationship. Is that not enough? I'd like to know what you think about this. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918 Last edited by little_tippler; 11-08-2005 at 08:56 AM..