sailor

OK. My mind is a complete mess right now, so forgive any rambling, nonsensical sentences, or whatever else.

I've been dating this girl, we'll call her A, for 9 months. Some time prior to my meeting her, she was not the type of girl I would have ever dated—loved partying, ended up in a different guy’s bed every Friday night… That sort of thing. I knew her through a friend, and hadn’t planned on dating her, except that I helped her through some hard times she was having, saw that she was trying to change, and when later she told me she had feelings for me, I decided to give it a shot—no harm in trying. I ended up falling for her a bit harder than I had thought I would, and thankfully watched as she changed from who she had been into a good girl you’d be proud to bring home to the parents. She definitely retained her sex drive though, something I very much appreciated.

Some of you may remember another thread I posted here a while back. The gist of it is, that I had decided, before I met her, that I was going to be going abroad to study in Germany for this year. We ended up deciding to try to stay together through it, realizing that we both strongly loved each other, and not wanting to give that up. So, recognizing that we were going to have a rough time ahead of us, I went to Germany.

I’ve been in Germany for two months now. Things with us were fine at first, but there have recently been a few problems. Nothing major, just not perfect—things were hard, just like we knew they would be. I think the biggest problem is that she has been missing me, very much. We’d spend hours on Skype, and it seemed to get worse and worse every day.

Anyways, just a few minutes ago, I get a skype call from her. I was immediately alarmed, as she was supposed to be in class at this time, and getting a skype call meant that she was back in her apartment 30 minutes from campus. She gets on, shaky voice, and says she has something to tell me (bet you know where this is going…). Last night was Halloween, which is a massive spectacle in Chapel Hill, with 75,000 students from colleges all over the state packing onto the main street in town. She tells me that she had been out last night, and that she had kissed some guy. OK, I’m not happy, and kinda worried. But hey—maybe it was just a drunk, hey, I haven’t seen you in a while, peck on the cheek. Still not good, but I can get over it. So I ask her what kind of kiss we were talking. “About a 10 minute one.” AKA, not a kiss, she made out with the guy.

I didn’t fly off the handle. I thanked her for telling me straight-up before I found out from someone else, and told her I needed some time to think and clear my head, and that I would get in touch when I had something more to say.

Now I don’t know what to think. I know she loves me, and that she’s truly sorry. She’s practically throwing up right now she’s crying so hard. But I’m not sure I can forgive her that easily. I mean, she didn’t peck him on the cheek, she made out with him for 10 minutes. I was concerned that, knowing her sex drive and that she gets flirty when she drinks (which isn’t often anymore, thankfully), something like this might happen, and it has. I don’t know whether I should cut her off now, I don’t know whether I should forgive her and move on, I don’t even know what to think right now.

So please, any thoughts or comments are appreciated. Serious only though, please. I’m not in the mood to laugh when someone I’ve loved for the better part of a year has cheated on me.

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"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
--Plato