When I was much younger, I vowed I would never get married. My parents made "sacred vows" and did the traditional wedding, and where did it get them? Ten years later and two kids in, divorce.
I could see no benefit to going through the motions of a wedding. The feminist in me dispised the "who gives this woman", "who takes this woman" nonsense... what? Is a woman just property to be exchanged? No woman I love would be considered property.
And don't get me started on having it in a church. I'm an atheist, for God's sake
why would I take vows before a god I don't think even exists...
The litany would go on from here... I was a passionate little nipper.
The thing is, when I met my wife, we dated just like anyone else. We feel in love and after a time, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
When I asked her to marry me, what I asked her was, "Will you grown old with me and have kids with me". I still did not plan on "marriage". My wife, knew my feelings on weddings and yet she still wanted to "wear the pretty dress".
I did a lot of thinking and talking and more thinking and talking. In the end, we boiled down, for us, what a wedding and what a marriage is. We decided that making a committment to each other to "grow old and have kids together" was a noteworthy event. It should be marked somehow. We decided that a wedding is two things:
1) a public declaration of committment.
2) a celebration of said committment.
How one acheives these two things is entirely up to the couple. We chose a mix of traditional and non-traditional elements for our wedding.
We walked down the aisle together as equals.
We had no religious leader.
We signed no city licenses.
We each made a speech about why we were there and what the other mean to us and made a vow of committment.
She wore a dress of her own design made by a friend.
I wore a jacket of my own design and made by a friend.
We made most of the decorations and did a lot of it ourselves (I silkscreened and sewed the table cloths, she made the centre pieces, etc.).
We were lucky to have parents that respected our wishes (after some long talks and explainations).
In the end we had a wedding that meant something to us. We were boycotted by only a few members of her family (ultra religious). To this day, people who were there still bring up our wedding...
Over the years I have come to the conclusion that weddings are important, as are the traditions associated with them. Regardless of the initial meanings of things like "giving away the bride" etc. These traditions represent way in which we mark the passage from one part of life into another. It is also a way in which we formalize our committments in a public setting and how we share this with our friends, family and community at large.
It is very easy to be snide and say, "who needs it" but we do. The celebration, the declaration of commitment *are* important. It changes the nature of your relationship and should not be entered into lightly.
As to the OP: I have no problem with a woman asking me to committ to her. A ring is just a token of that committment... the true committment is in the heart and jewelry or not, once you've made that committment, your countenance will change.