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Originally Posted by uptown
I've felt like worthless old trash for so long that I don't know how to even begin to feel differently .I try to remind myself that I'm a very kind person and quite loyal, that I'm a hard worker etc but somehow those things mean nothing during the low times.
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Uptown, first of all, I really appreciated your post. It was really refreshing, because I've noticed how in many of your posts in the past, you were feeling really negative about yourself... and maybe you still feel that way, but you are communicating about it in a very different manner. Thank you for sharing your struggle with us.
That said, I can definitely concur that I have had some serious lows, feel-like-shit for long periods of time, not valuing myself as I should (even when I know better)... believe me, I've been there. It is quite the self-made hole to get out of, once one has dug into it so far. But once you start looking up... I think just that recognition of a way out is enough to lift you a little bit each day. And it seems you are beginning to look up. At this point, I wouldn't hope for too much change in a short time... just try to hold on to one or two positive thoughts each day, if you can. And if you hit some real bad lows... well, let them be lows, ride them out... and wake up the next morning and remind yourself of what you're worth (a lot!).
Can you find a friend or co-worker whom you trust, to ask to work with you on the situation?... I know things with your SO aren't that great (from your previous posts), but is there someone safe that you can ask for help and positive feedback? Having even one person who can look at you each day and say, "Snap out of it, you're an amazing individual!" is sooo helpful.
And, of course, come to the TFP for support and hugs.
