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Xapphire · 05-22-2003, 05:35 AM

My first time (and there are 3, so this is gonna be a long post

)

I was a freshman in college, Jaid and I were going to get married, but hadn't set a date, we couldn't decide whether we wanted to marry before or after he left for bootcamp. I hadn't had a period since I left home (moved from Cali to Texas for college), so we just started testing after we started having sex, because we weren't using protection, he wasn't pulling out.
It was a situation of if we get pregnant, great, if not, we've got the rest of our lives to work on it, type thing.
We test positive at the end of October, we'd already called and told my parents we were getting married (and no, I'm not pregnant), so I had to call them back a month later and tell them we were having a baby too. There wasn't too much drama from my family, I got razzed by my uncle saying everyone already knew he was a great uncle, I didn't have to make him a great-uncle. May have helped that we lied and said that it was an accident, instead of allowed to happen. His mother, on the other hand (another reason I have such hard times with this woman, grrrr), said and I quote, "Tell me this is your idea of a sick joke."
*mutters mean words and moves on feeling slightly better*
As for the actual pregnancy, I didn't get morning sickness, but I did get carsick, I dreaded going anywhere in his car, especially since he was stuck on one band/artist at the time, and the thumping from the bass just made it worse. I still can't listen to that album without feeling queasy.
We took soooo many pictures of my belly changing, it was a marvel to us. About the time my bump really started to show though, it was getting to be April/May, and that was the end of me going outside *laughs* We lived in College Station, TX and the humidity there is just so different from what I'm used to back home in Cali, I flat out refused to go outside unless I was getting into an air conditioned car, and going someplace air conditioned.
Really sucked that I couldn't stick to my refusal as our car didn't have a/c and I had to go to doctor appts.

I didn't have cravings, but I did use my pregnancy as a way to get lots of avocados and strawberries =D.
I went 2 weeks over my due date and had to be induced. God that sucks! Go from no pain, to hard heavy contractions in the space of 30 minutes. I was doing okay through them, but dry heaving after they were over as I hadn't been allowed anything to eat or drink for 8 hours prior. Nurse gave me something for the nausea, but it was going to make the contractions stronger, so they gave me Stadol for the pain. Told me it'd make me feel drunk *laughs* Within 5 minutes of her putting it in the IV, I was gone, fell right to sleep... after remarking to Jaid and his mother who was still there

that it felt funny to hold my head up. "so, put it down" was the answer, and I obeyed and fell asleep hehe.
I was out for all of my labor, Jaid says I woke up once crying and they gave me more. I don't remember any of it. I woke up to awful contractions at about 4:45 pm or so, they checked me and I was pretty fully dilated, but I still had a bit to go. Ok fine, squeeze the life out of Jaid's hand and cry and huff through contractions. The nurse kept saying, let me know if you feel the need to push, don't push, I'll go get the doctor to check you at that point. All of a sudden, I could feel the baby, not the need to push, but I swear she was on her way out. Jaid called the nurse and she said, ok, the doctor's delivering another baby, he'll be back in a little bit, I'll be right there to help her with breathing etc.
Nurse came in, and checked me, and turned white. Guess who was on her way... The doctor showed up shortly thereafter, and only about 10 pushes later I had our baby

Second pregnancy
Skipped period, I'd been talking to my mother, and she overnighted me a pregnancy test lol. We were still living in Texas, but I refused to go through another pregnancy near his mother. During my first, she would come up from behind me and grab my belly and shake it, hard! I told Jaid that if she so much as touched my belly and I hadn't invited her to do it, I was gonna knock her the f*** out this time, maybe that way she'd listen when I asked her not to touch my belly or shake it. We were at a point in our lives that it was pretty easy to just pick up and leave, no decent job holding us back, renting an apt, so we packed up, and moved to Cali, and I was so happy to be near my family for this pregnancy. I was back surrounded by loved ones. We didn't pay too much attention to the changes this time around, been there, done that, right? I got my belly, and then I started hating it, I couldn't sit down! My tummy was always in my lap, it was the most uncomfortable thing, I had to take a towel or a tshirt with me everywhere to stick between them or I'd get all sweaty and irritated.
I went into labor on my own this time, 2 days before my doctor was going to induce me. It was awesome! It was so much better than induction, my body got to adjust, and it was great, it still hurt, but I could handle it. We got to the hospital about 2 in the morning, but at 10-11 am I was stuck at 8 cm dilated, and they added Pitocin to my drip to help my labor out. Gah, like induction all over again. I hate Pitocin contractions. My mother, father, and stepmother were all there with me and Jaid, I wish he'd told them to leave, but I'm pretty sure he didn't want to hurt my feelings and was waiting for me to tell them, as I had wanted them there for my labor, but I didn't want them there for delivery, and then nobody kicked them out, and I was in no position or mind to be thinking about it. Damn that was a run on sentence. Oh well.
I pushed for an hour and a half for our second, it was painful and tiring and I wanted to give up, and they wouldn't let me

I couldn't feel where the hell they wanted me to push too, the first time it'd been easy, she was already ready to come out, I could feel where I was supposed to be pushing. Until our second one got to that point, I couldn't tell either, and then I finally felt her, and she was out just a few pushes later.

3rd and final *laughs*
rough pregnancy emotionally, I was depressed and suicidal and felt I could do nothing right, and I wanted Jaid to hate me so that I could kill myself and not feel like I was going to leave him behind hurting, so I confessed to the affair I'd had, wanting him to see how unworthy of his love I was... and had he immediately hated me, I wouldn't be here today, but he didn't, he held me and told me he loved me and we'd work through it... and I had hope again. And then 2 days later, it had sunk in, and he hated me, he couldn't trust me, a ton of stuff, but he'd pulled me from the brink before and I was damned if I hadn't been saved to let him go.

I went through the rest of my pregnancy for the most part, alone, he was not a part of it, didn't want to be a part of it, wasn't going to have anything to do with it. So I was going to give birth to our baby, on my own. I stayed home until an hour before I gave birth. I'd been to the hospital already once that morning, but as soon as I got there, the contractions stopped, so I went back home, and kept having them on schedule, every 15 minutes. They didn't get closer together at all until the very end, just longer and harder. I called my grandmother and she came and picked me up, took us 30 minutes to get everything loaded and me up there, she was afraid I was going to have the baby on the way, my contractions had sped up in that space of 30 minutes to being almost constant. I was admitted and less than 30 minutes later, I had our baby. My grandma stayed with me, she wasn't leaving me to have it alone. She still hasn't forgiven my husband, but that's not her job, it's his. He'll be sorry he wasn't there, and he'll have to forgive himself, I already have. We're doing a lot better, and he plays with her and nuzzles her and smiles at her, he just doesn't have much patience, but he never has, and I knew that when I married him.

Ok, I'm done, not going into any more details although there's a ton more, life is like that.

05-22-2003, 05:35 AM	#5 (permalink)
Xapphire Crazy Location: Dallas TX (close enough)	My first time (and there are 3, so this is gonna be a long post ) I was a freshman in college, Jaid and I were going to get married, but hadn't set a date, we couldn't decide whether we wanted to marry before or after he left for bootcamp. I hadn't had a period since I left home (moved from Cali to Texas for college), so we just started testing after we started having sex, because we weren't using protection, he wasn't pulling out. It was a situation of if we get pregnant, great, if not, we've got the rest of our lives to work on it, type thing. We test positive at the end of October, we'd already called and told my parents we were getting married (and no, I'm not pregnant), so I had to call them back a month later and tell them we were having a baby too. There wasn't too much drama from my family, I got razzed by my uncle saying everyone already knew he was a great uncle, I didn't have to make him a great-uncle. May have helped that we lied and said that it was an accident, instead of allowed to happen. His mother, on the other hand (another reason I have such hard times with this woman, grrrr), said and I quote, "Tell me this is your idea of a sick joke." mutters mean words and moves on feeling slightly better As for the actual pregnancy, I didn't get morning sickness, but I did get carsick, I dreaded going anywhere in his car, especially since he was stuck on one band/artist at the time, and the thumping from the bass just made it worse. I still can't listen to that album without feeling queasy. We took soooo many pictures of my belly changing, it was a marvel to us. About the time my bump really started to show though, it was getting to be April/May, and that was the end of me going outside laughs We lived in College Station, TX and the humidity there is just so different from what I'm used to back home in Cali, I flat out refused to go outside unless I was getting into an air conditioned car, and going someplace air conditioned. Really sucked that I couldn't stick to my refusal as our car didn't have a/c and I had to go to doctor appts. I didn't have cravings, but I did use my pregnancy as a way to get lots of avocados and strawberries =D. I went 2 weeks over my due date and had to be induced. God that sucks! Go from no pain, to hard heavy contractions in the space of 30 minutes. I was doing okay through them, but dry heaving after they were over as I hadn't been allowed anything to eat or drink for 8 hours prior. Nurse gave me something for the nausea, but it was going to make the contractions stronger, so they gave me Stadol for the pain. Told me it'd make me feel drunk laughs Within 5 minutes of her putting it in the IV, I was gone, fell right to sleep... after remarking to Jaid and his mother who was still there that it felt funny to hold my head up. "so, put it down" was the answer, and I obeyed and fell asleep hehe. I was out for all of my labor, Jaid says I woke up once crying and they gave me more. I don't remember any of it. I woke up to awful contractions at about 4:45 pm or so, they checked me and I was pretty fully dilated, but I still had a bit to go. Ok fine, squeeze the life out of Jaid's hand and cry and huff through contractions. The nurse kept saying, let me know if you feel the need to push, don't push, I'll go get the doctor to check you at that point. All of a sudden, I could feel the baby, not the need to push, but I swear she was on her way out. Jaid called the nurse and she said, ok, the doctor's delivering another baby, he'll be back in a little bit, I'll be right there to help her with breathing etc. Nurse came in, and checked me, and turned white. Guess who was on her way... The doctor showed up shortly thereafter, and only about 10 pushes later I had our baby Second pregnancy Skipped period, I'd been talking to my mother, and she overnighted me a pregnancy test lol. We were still living in Texas, but I refused to go through another pregnancy near his mother. During my first, she would come up from behind me and grab my belly and shake it, hard! I told Jaid that if she so much as touched my belly and I hadn't invited her to do it, I was gonna knock her the f*** out this time, maybe that way she'd listen when I asked her not to touch my belly or shake it. We were at a point in our lives that it was pretty easy to just pick up and leave, no decent job holding us back, renting an apt, so we packed up, and moved to Cali, and I was so happy to be near my family for this pregnancy. I was back surrounded by loved ones. We didn't pay too much attention to the changes this time around, been there, done that, right? I got my belly, and then I started hating it, I couldn't sit down! My tummy was always in my lap, it was the most uncomfortable thing, I had to take a towel or a tshirt with me everywhere to stick between them or I'd get all sweaty and irritated. I went into labor on my own this time, 2 days before my doctor was going to induce me. It was awesome! It was so much better than induction, my body got to adjust, and it was great, it still hurt, but I could handle it. We got to the hospital about 2 in the morning, but at 10-11 am I was stuck at 8 cm dilated, and they added Pitocin to my drip to help my labor out. Gah, like induction all over again. I hate Pitocin contractions. My mother, father, and stepmother were all there with me and Jaid, I wish he'd told them to leave, but I'm pretty sure he didn't want to hurt my feelings and was waiting for me to tell them, as I had wanted them there for my labor, but I didn't want them there for delivery, and then nobody kicked them out, and I was in no position or mind to be thinking about it. Damn that was a run on sentence. Oh well. I pushed for an hour and a half for our second, it was painful and tiring and I wanted to give up, and they wouldn't let me I couldn't feel where the hell they wanted me to push too, the first time it'd been easy, she was already ready to come out, I could feel where I was supposed to be pushing. Until our second one got to that point, I couldn't tell either, and then I finally felt her, and she was out just a few pushes later. 3rd and final laughs rough pregnancy emotionally, I was depressed and suicidal and felt I could do nothing right, and I wanted Jaid to hate me so that I could kill myself and not feel like I was going to leave him behind hurting, so I confessed to the affair I'd had, wanting him to see how unworthy of his love I was... and had he immediately hated me, I wouldn't be here today, but he didn't, he held me and told me he loved me and we'd work through it... and I had hope again. And then 2 days later, it had sunk in, and he hated me, he couldn't trust me, a ton of stuff, but he'd pulled me from the brink before and I was damned if I hadn't been saved to let him go. I went through the rest of my pregnancy for the most part, alone, he was not a part of it, didn't want to be a part of it, wasn't going to have anything to do with it. So I was going to give birth to our baby, on my own. I stayed home until an hour before I gave birth. I'd been to the hospital already once that morning, but as soon as I got there, the contractions stopped, so I went back home, and kept having them on schedule, every 15 minutes. They didn't get closer together at all until the very end, just longer and harder. I called my grandmother and she came and picked me up, took us 30 minutes to get everything loaded and me up there, she was afraid I was going to have the baby on the way, my contractions had sped up in that space of 30 minutes to being almost constant. I was admitted and less than 30 minutes later, I had our baby. My grandma stayed with me, she wasn't leaving me to have it alone. She still hasn't forgiven my husband, but that's not her job, it's his. He'll be sorry he wasn't there, and he'll have to forgive himself, I already have. We're doing a lot better, and he plays with her and nuzzles her and smiles at her, he just doesn't have much patience, but he never has, and I knew that when I married him. Ok, I'm done, not going into any more details although there's a ton more, life is like that.