When I am king of the forest....
There will be limited gun ownership. I get the gun. Don't piss me off.
Cleavage will be mandatory.
The WB will be taken out behind the shed and snuffed.
Howard Stern will have to shut up for a while.
All residents are required to read the works of Sinclair Lewis. The new consitution will be the text of
Main Street.
You are officially required to get over yourself if you haven't already done so.
There will be no Reba McEntire allowed.
If anyone remarks that I have no clothes when I prance around naked, they will be fed to the crows.
Only I can prance. And occasionally the PM of England, by my discretion. I don't expect to prance much.
The standard reply to "workin' hard or hardly working?" will be, "busier than a one legged man at a butt kicking contest."
No philosophy will come from a bumper sticker.
Turn in your badge and gun, you're done.
Nebraska and Oklahoma will be required to start universities affiliated with their football teams.
Snakes will be relocated to away from me. Spiders better damn well behave themsleves or face the same fate.
J.K. Rowling will be shackled to the word processor until the 7th book comes to end that I must be satisfied with. Otherwise, she has to start all over from book one.