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From the bottom of my heart... I've been where you are at. Where am I now? Worse. The Only difference between you and me is that I tried killing myself. My plan was to overdose on pills. I gathered 200 pills and took them all. Just as I popped the last pill, family came home. I grabbed the keys and headed to the car. My first idea was to drive to a field, toss the keys- never to find them, and die.
I didn't make it to the field.
I passed out in my car. Woke up in the hospital covered in charcoal with tube down my throat.
The reason I am sharing this is because I thought I could never "do it" either. I felt like I wanted to die. I thought about it from time to time.
You need to do something about the way you feel. Take it from someone who has been there. Whether it's counseling or medication. Do something. I found a medication that helped me, but I became addicted. You can take non addictive medication. There are medications that will help you. Talk to you doctor. I personally feel like because you are so depressed, trying medication will not hurt you. Talk to your doctor! I hope you feel better.
If you do try medication, don't expect immediate results. Wait up to 2 months to see if it can help you. I gave up to soon. Depression is so complicated.
Hang in there. Keep us posted - please! I care!
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Hey! Wait! I've got a new complaint, Forever in debt to ((your)) priceless advice. - Nirvana
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