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Originally Posted by Daoust
Here's my advice Tim, and I advise you take it to heart: The morality that everyone in this thread is trying to push on you is pure garbage. You don't need to listen to one single word that people are saying to you.
If you want to cheat on your wife, do it. It's your decision. Your life. Nobody can or should tell you what is 'right' or 'wrong' because surely by now we've all learned that those terms do not exist, except in our own minds.
The mantra of the world is "do what you feel like", closely followed by "Look out for number 1". Don't let anyone tell you different. So far every person on this thread has told you that what you're doing is wrong, with the exception maybe of Ratbastid. But, really, WHO ARE THEY TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WRONG? What gave them the right to be judgmental? You look after yourself, and do what you feel is best. If that means adultery, so be it.
So what do you think, fellow TFP'ers? Is that good advice? Am I wrong to give that advice??
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I know I didn't say what was right or wrong-indeed, I said I don't think monogamy is natural, it's a choice. However, not being open about it to his wife is the wrong way of going about things, but at least he 'sort of' opened up.
The problem appears to be that he wants it both ways, and while in some cases, it works, in most it does not and he seems to be in a situation where it will not.
He didn't tell of the infidelity because 'that would end it'. He knows the answers.
Even those that have an 'open marriage' have to face certain jealousies and emotions at times. While I hold to the belief that monogamy is a choice, we are creatures of deep conscience and giving ourselves, even in fun, carries a risk of emotional upheaval that has to be dealt with. You can love one person fully and not be 'faithful'; unfortunately, we are taught that sex, love and marriage comes as a package of possession.
I did not see much in the way here of saying he's out and out wrong-what we have said is his handling is and his reasons for marriage are.