abaya

I think this is your main issue: figuring out what love means to you. There are those who can love many people, and IF their partners are okay with it, then that's cool. But if your partner is not, and if you're too selfish to be okay with her banging other people, then I'd say your idea of love is a bit fucked up, man.

Does it mean you "gotta" bang someone else, that you don't have control over your own sexuality? It seems that way, either that or you just don't WANT to control it. If so, then you really shouldn't be settling down until you KNOW you're getting married because you WANT to.

Getting married in order to "tame" yourself is pretty selfish (in addition to getting married because it's expected by society). You didn't get married out of love for the other person, but because of a selfish desire to impose self-control on something that you essentially aren't able to do on your own.

Sorry if this is harsh, but I went through this whole debate with an ex boyfriend and it was very painful for both of us. In the end, he was honest about his inability to commit, and I could not blame him since he 'fessed up. However, even if I got over it, I still knew he was the wrong person for me. He really is one of those non-monogamous types, and as a result he is staying as far the fuck away from marriage as possible. I suggest you do the same until you know that you WANT one woman for the rest of your life, no exceptions.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran