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Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights
No bashing, but here's your mistake. I won't go into it further, because you already know that.
Look...we're all tempted. Hell, I'm tempted daily. It's what we do with that temptation that is character defining.
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Seriously. Man. I couldn't say it better.
Look, let me expand the discussion a little here. Monogamy is NOT the only viable lifestyle choice, but honesty is the only workable option in any sort of relationship. In my opinion, cheating isn't the physical act, it's the lie or withheld communication. Said another way, if you can't tell her about it, it's cheating. Said yet another way, the problem isn't the sex, it's the lying.
On certain rare occasions, I have sex with people who aren't my wife. On certain occasions, she does too. We both know all about it, and it's fine. It gives us an opportunity to bring our relationship to a new level. We're clear we're together by ongoing, moment-by-moment choice, and nothing else. There's no need or ownership in our relationship. (I mean, except when there IS. We're still human beings and we'll still have all those very normal human emotions. But we're clear we're bigger than them, and we're committed to being something larger than an emotional response with each other.)
My point is, marriage doesn't have to limit you. It can be the platform from which you live, not the ball and chain keeping you down.