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Originally Posted by Strange Famous
But I sit here, having spent 5 days pretty much locked up in my apartment, which is basically so messy it is unfit for habitation, drinking heavily and doing nothing but post online. I sit here, fantasizing about suicide and making lists of all of my flaws. I am hugely overweight, dont have any real friends, and feel like I am clinging on to life (by which I dont mean living, but an acceptable life - a job, a flat, fitting in with society and so on) by a thread.
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Okay, I certainly understand this.
Let me try putting some elements together from this paragraph: 5 days in apartment, overweight, no friends.
I find that I feel better when I can finally get myself to go
out. Just
out. No particular destination is required. Walk around your neighborhood. If you have to rest, do so, then continue.
Personally, I found that after I was diagnosed as
diabetic that I suddenly forced myself to exercise, which started with walking on a treadmill. It hurt. I continued anyway, as I refused to use that as an excuse to stop. Later, for social purposes, I started going to a weekly volleyball game. I sucked at it, but so what?
In July 2004, I bought a bicycle. I used it twice. This year, I used it a bunch, and recently found, when I went back to volleyball after several months, that I was better at it. The bike exercise helped my ability to move.
Anyway. If you're like me, your parents were always telling you to get out of the house and do stuff outside. I rebelled.
FAT lot of good it did me. I'm over 300lbs now. Being inside isn't helpful. At this point, the only person being rebelled against is me myself. Why should I rebel against myself? I'm certainly not feeling better because of it.
Why
you stay inside, I can't say. Only you can answer that one. I know that exercising sucks. Trust me, I know. But it gets you out of the house, and when you're out of the house, you might meet people. If you meet people, you
might at least become acquainted with them. Perhaps form friendships in time, and who knows what else? Pussy won't come to you, man. The mountain must go to Mohammed, yes?
What kind of things/activities/topics are you interested in?