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Originally Posted by martinguerre
First, i think it is a moral obligation to discuss sexual history before an encounter, at least as far as transmission of STDs is concerned. AIDS is still a death sentence, even with better treatment options, and infection rates are on the rise again.
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In the case of STD's of any sort there certainly is a moral obligation. I'm assuming for the sake of simplicity two healthy people.
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Originally Posted by martinguerre
Some natal (and self identified) women have an enlongated clitoris. Some men might be upset by this...after all it does resemble a small penis. Do they have a moral obligation to disclose this, even though it has no bearing on their perception of the sexual activity they engage in? What you're saying is that numerically smaller populations bear the responsbility for communication about issues in human sexuality. Do men with small dicks have a obligation to speak up? Women with inverted nipples? I'm not trying to be crass. But why exactly is this not a two way street?
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It's not a two way street because regardless of what her perceived gender was, she was biologically a male. She still had a Y chromosome. We do not yet have the technology to turn a man into a woman. We can fake it really well, but we can't make the complete change and that's where the difference lies. Consider that there are differences between a biological woman and a transgender woman after SRS. Consider that these differences can be very life affecting for a long-term partner. Consider too that as I said there are men out there who would not feel comfortable being intimate with a transgendered female regardless of of whether she's had the surgery or not. I don't want to hear about a girl's yeast infection she had three months ago, because it's not relevant. An elongated clitoris or inverted nipples; well, if they're extreme cases, they should inform their partner beforehand just to prevent complications. And if a girl used to be a man, she should tell any potentical partners that as well. There's a big difference between telling someone you're about to have sex with and (as you put it) wearing a sign around your neck. And tyhe big difference, if you're interested, is tat there's a lot more at stake if you're transgendered. As a point of interest, I once encountered a girl with inverted nipples. I thought it was odd, but no lasting damage was done. Unintentionally being intimate with a transgendered girl, n the other hand, can cause severe emotional trauma by causing the right sort of man to question his own gender identity because of it. I'd say it's likely that a good deal of transgendered individuals went through that, which is why I think it's only moral for them to avoid possibly inflicting that on someone else.
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Originally Posted by martinguerre
Our society on the whole choses to validate the idea that a sexual experience with a person of the same natal gender makes a person gay. Is that reflective of reality? Is that helpful? Does that cause hurt?
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I don't so much think that our society validates that idea so much as it is ill equipped for dealing with people who's physical sex and gender identity aren't the same.