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You are so fucked man! HPV, herpes, HIV, Venezuelan crotchrot, syphilis, scabies, pubic lice, genital chiggers, el chupa cabra, you are showing clear symptoms for all of it man. I recommend a regimen of dunking your willie alternately in turpentine and diesel fuel for about an hour then a thick coat of Icey Hot. What have you been sticking it in man? You just get back from Bangkok or what? No, wait I don't want to know.
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