|
Astrahl, I understand what you mean. I was a virgin when I met ratbastid, and I was also bi but never did anything about it. I never had the wild experimentation that a lot of people had in their 20s. For me the issue wasn't so much "what did I miss," it was that I'd basically shut off my lust for women for years because I was married and had a pretty narrow picture of what marriage looked like.
So what I'm about to suggest might sound a little hypocritical:
The grass is always greener on the other side.
Most of my friends who DID have a wild experimentation phase say I didn't miss much. They say it was uncomfortable, stressful, the sex wasn't really always that good, and they kind of envy that I found my partner so fast. If you're just worried that you missed something, don't forget that it's not all passion and fun - you also missed fear, insecurity, boredom, yadda yadda yadda.
If your husband is truly, truly okay with you experimenting with other men, go ahead, but go in with your eyes open. It's probably not going to "fix" anything, and the best way to go into nonmonogamy is as partners. Would he be up for a threesome with another man? Do you really want to have sex with other men, or do you just want the flirtation and making out and feeling vital and wanted? What is his comfort level with varioius things (intercourse vs. say, third base)? What is your comfort level with various things, when it comes right down to it in realilty?
Opening up our relationship to other people has been one of the most rewarding experiences I've had, but it's also been one of the most stressful. Think pretty hard about the realities of things, as opposed to the fantasy that "other men" have become for you in your mind.
__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
|