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Pip · 08-07-2005, 07:18 AM

Long post, bear with me. I'm pouring my heart out here and I haven't found much on this subject on TFP.

It's the Stockholm Pride Festival this week and as usual there are a lot of seminars and discussions about all sorts of sexual orientations, mainly homo-, bi- and transsexuality. But this year for the first time asexuality has also been discussed as a sexual orientation. It's an interesting subject. If a person says he/she is not interested in sex the usual reaction is that it's because they have some kind of chemical inbalance or have been abused as a child or have been taught that sex is dirty by evil repressed parents or just haven't met the right person yet. A bit of therapy and you'll be wanting to fuck like a rabbit, just like a normal person.

I've been guilty of that mindset, I still am. I'm still waiting for the right guy, I still think I might be depressed or something, I still wonder if something happened when I was a child. I still think that someday I'll get over this mental block I have about having sex with other people. It seems like so much fun, after all.

But maybe there is nothing wrong with me. Maybe this is the way I am. But that means I'll never be able to enjoy sex with another person. I don't want to have sex, but I want to want to have sex, and I'm not ready to give up on that quite yet. The shoe is fitting surprisingly well though. In school it seemed like everyone had a crush on someone except I, so in ninth grade I made a list of likely candiates. The #1 guy with long blond shiny hair who played in a band got to be my crush. Some years later the current top guy on my list got together with my best friend. "Good for them" I thought and started having a crush on guy #2. We got together and my best friend asked me outright if I was dating him just for the sake of having a boyfriend. I lied and said no. After we broke up I've had crushes on both men and women, but nothing ever happens. Maybe I've never really been attracted by anyone, maybe I've just convinced myself to be attracted to all these people because that's what society expects me to be?

A lot of maybes here, I need to think about this a LOT more. Who knows, in a few years I might be walking in the Pride Parade with the asexuals? In the meanwhile, what do you all think? Am I insane? Is asexuality something that can be cured? Or is it a sexual orientation like homosexuality? Do you pity those who don't want sex? Do you envy them? Do you sometimes feel that you don't want sex as much as society wants you to want?

08-07-2005, 07:18 AM	#1 (permalink)
Pip Likes Hats Location: Stockholm, Sweden	Coming out as an asexual? Long post, bear with me. I'm pouring my heart out here and I haven't found much on this subject on TFP. It's the Stockholm Pride Festival this week and as usual there are a lot of seminars and discussions about all sorts of sexual orientations, mainly homo-, bi- and transsexuality. But this year for the first time asexuality has also been discussed as a sexual orientation. It's an interesting subject. If a person says he/she is not interested in sex the usual reaction is that it's because they have some kind of chemical inbalance or have been abused as a child or have been taught that sex is dirty by evil repressed parents or just haven't met the right person yet. A bit of therapy and you'll be wanting to fuck like a rabbit, just like a normal person. I've been guilty of that mindset, I still am. I'm still waiting for the right guy, I still think I might be depressed or something, I still wonder if something happened when I was a child. I still think that someday I'll get over this mental block I have about having sex with other people. It seems like so much fun, after all. But maybe there is nothing wrong with me. Maybe this is the way I am. But that means I'll never be able to enjoy sex with another person. I don't want to have sex, but I want to want to have sex, and I'm not ready to give up on that quite yet. The shoe is fitting surprisingly well though. In school it seemed like everyone had a crush on someone except I, so in ninth grade I made a list of likely candiates. The #1 guy with long blond shiny hair who played in a band got to be my crush. Some years later the current top guy on my list got together with my best friend. "Good for them" I thought and started having a crush on guy #2. We got together and my best friend asked me outright if I was dating him just for the sake of having a boyfriend. I lied and said no. After we broke up I've had crushes on both men and women, but nothing ever happens. Maybe I've never really been attracted by anyone, maybe I've just convinced myself to be attracted to all these people because that's what society expects me to be? A lot of maybes here, I need to think about this a LOT more. Who knows, in a few years I might be walking in the Pride Parade with the asexuals? In the meanwhile, what do you all think? Am I insane? Is asexuality something that can be cured? Or is it a sexual orientation like homosexuality? Do you pity those who don't want sex? Do you envy them? Do you sometimes feel that you don't want sex as much as society wants you to want?