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thanks for all the comments guys...I was worried at first as everyone seemed intent on striking my guy down...to some extent he deserves it, but in other ways he doesn't.
I think making assumptions on what love is or is supposed to be is BS. I think you have to take it as it comes. If like me, you've been with someone for 3 years, really feel for them like you have never done for anyone, live together and have future plans, as well as getting on great in general, then you'd definitely try and put thing in perspective before just doing the rash and perhaps easy thing and giving up.
I also think communication is key and if there's stuff you can't talk about then maybe you should be doing something to change that. It sucked to hear that he sometimes was put off by my belly, but the truth is I used to be a skinny little thing ,but then due to an illness where I had to take cortizone (which made me fat for a while - and he stuck with me then), I gained some weight and some of it never came off. I don't like the present state of my body, even though by general standards I'm pretty slim and have a good body.
I already told him I thought he was shallow about it and exactly how I felt about it and that I don't know if I could get over that, but he's got a great bod and is a young red-blooded male and it's only natural to some extent. Maybe he's a little immature...but I took him as he is and I'm not backing down now.
At the time he told me, we were arguing over something petty and he blurted it out. He later said he didn't mean to be so crude but it came out as he was angry - he hadn't said anything before because he didn't know how to say it without sounding like an asshole.
It's all too easy nowadays to throw people aside because you're so self-important that if someone wounds your ego then they're not good for you anymore. But sometimes it's not all about you. Sometimes it has to be about the us and I prefer to have total honesty (or semi-total) than pretend that everyone has to be perfect to live up to my standards.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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