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Of course there is a right way (in other words, I respectfully disagree, Charlatan). If someone has gained much weight and you think it's unhealthy, you should mention something. As long as the delivery is respectful you do not deserve to be called rude or insensitive. If my wife were to gain much weight, aside from pregnancy of course, I might ask her if she wants me to join her in the gym or on her runs. She'd probably respond, "Oh, I've been missing my runs lately what with work/daughter/etc." Then I have my opportunity to be helpful and get her lean. I can offer to take some of the work load to help her with her schedule. It's just as important to stay healthy by exercising as it is to stay healthy by working for food and housing money.
The 'you're fat' option is not the only option of communicating your worry. I'd say most of the timne you want your SO to trim down, they also want to trim down. Two people with a mutual goal are more likely to succede than one person with that goal.
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