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If you want him to know how you feel ane what he's missing out on, you have to tell him. NG suggested writing a letter, do that... get out all your feelings and don't hold back at all... Then wait a few days and either edit it and send it, send it as is, or delete it and shut that door on that part of your life.
Wondering doesn't help you... and do it for yourself, not for your grandfather - your granddad loved you for you - he'll understand whatever you decide.
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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