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Originally Posted by maleficent
You are an adult now... not a child anymore... If you want a relationship with him, have one, on your terms... Think about what you want from him? Guidance, mentor, financial support, love, nothing... If you don't like him, and adds nothing to your life, and just makes it more stressful, there's nothing that says you have to maintain a relationship with him....
You can't pick your parents, and there are some parents who shouldn't be. You know what type of person he is, and he's probably not going to change, either accept him on those terms, or let him go... and enjoy your life.
What the rest of the family thinks is their problem... Until they have walked a mile or so in your shoes, they have no business judging...
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I have to agree with every word Maleficent wrote.
I had a worse than terrible relationship with the man I called father. I ended up preserving myself and cutting him off from me, and I only wish I had done it sooner. I heard from all the family members about how "He's your Dad, you should have a relationship" and no, some people you shouldn't have a relationship with. Even if you happen to be in the same family (No disrespect intended to the others here who may have offered differing opinions, truely).
Although I don't believe in forgive and forget as in, "Let it go and continue down the relationship road," I do agree with the sentiment in that you need to forgive *For Yourself*; you don't want to carry around a load of resentment your whole life, it controls/warps you. And then, whatever choice you've made, accept responsibility for it and live your life.
I wish you the best of luck. I'm sorry you have to go through this.