The modern day guide to teenage communication
Well, something i've been tinkering on for a while, it may not make sense to all, since i do hail from rainy england, but hopefully some of it people will find amusing.
Sort of a spoof, sort of an actual guide, comments are welcome, as are new and interesting words i havn't thought of.
WARNING: This text contains references including, but not limited to swearing, drug consumption, interesting sexual practices, and several elephants. If these offend you, please don't read.
The modern day guide to Teen Pack Animal communication and practices, as documented first hand by 9 Ants, 3 Giraffes, 14 Llamas, a small Sea Turtle named Frank and his wife Betty.
Introduction
Welcome to the worlds best resource for understand today’s teen pack animal. Within these pages you will find works produced through extensive research by the hands of highly trained teenimal specialists.
Without their painstaking work and sacrifices in the aim of correct understand of not only their language, but their social structure, and the experiences produced by the various items common to their consumption with the packs amongst extensive pride lands.
It is their wish that you can communicate your wishes, whether a simple hello or an angry gesture to fuck the hell off before you impale them on a small vibrating thingy, in a way that can help bring our two worlds closer together.
Enjoy.
Allow [Synonyms: None, unique usage]
[Pronunciation guide: Al-laow]
Allow is an interesting word, which despite what you'd think, means completely the opposite of what it should. This is a mathematician’s worst nightmare, and all reference to this word should be avoided around them.
The word allow, in a rough translation, means 'fuck it/that'. For instance “allow walking to the shops to buy ‘snouts’” would read as “I cannot be fucked, I’d rather stay here and smoke a ‘bub’ (see below)”.
Of course, allow can also be used so signify other emotions. If, for instance, you wish to dismiss someone/something, allow can be easily used: e.g. you've crashed your mothers car into an elephant, the phrase 'look mum, allow' can be used to signify your indifference, and your desire for her not to be pissed off at you, along with hoping she will just accept it and move on. Of course this is rarely the case, but who really gives a shit, it’s not your car, and it certainly wasn’t your elephant.
The origins of allow stem most likely from the ecstasy ridden minds of several people trying to have a conversation. The word probably started off as 'disallow' or a similar derivative, but through due course of people forgetting the basics of English, or just not being arsed to finish a proper word, it was shortened to 'allow'.
It must be noted however that the word allow can only be used among those who are fully understand the correct usage of the word. If it is uttered among those who are unfamiliar, one may very well find oneself in a situation which one really didn't intend to get into, such as having to describe the usage of the world allow.
This is not a situation one would wish to find themselves in, as it usually ends with the user of allow looking like a ‘gimp’.
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Last edited by stevie667; 07-30-2005 at 04:54 PM..
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