kangaeru

Meno -- I agree with your arguments. I don't agree with everything you say, but at least you are willing to live by a realistic standard, which isn't dependant upon what other people think.

Shani -- I also see where you're coming from. You are championing a lost crusade, because you will always meet people who will not like you or respect you, and will say things which could hurt you. The upside is, these people are trash who have no reason to be in your life anyways, so why dwell on them? Let them go.

Look, it's all shades of grey. Because of my values and the way I live my life, some ugly people do not deserve my respect because of who they are and why they're ugly. People can be ugly, and I'm not talking about only theri appearance. For example, to me, it is important to be able to exercise the self control to stay in good shape. For me, seeing a grotesquely overweight 300++ pound person who has overflowing gelatinous body fat...I wonder, how could you ever let that happen to yourself? At what point in your life do you say, what the fuck am I doing, something has got to change, and do something about it? Eat less, jog a bit...do SOMETHING.

I know a kid I used to go to high school with who lives in an apartment in a shitty part of town, works in a gas station, and sucks dick for oxycotin. Now I'm a big fan of drugs, I've done weed, shrooms, MDMA, cocaine, alcohol...but always on my terms. I smoke weed all the time but MDMA and cocaine I only do about 1-2 times a year, when I know I'm going to be out partying in NYC or Boston and I know I'm going to have freaky girls down to party with me. I own the drugs. I do them only when I know I'm going for an all out crazy time, which is rare, but I treat myself to it. They will NEVER own me. And if a day comes when I have to question that, I will quit. That's my personal will power. And then you have kids like my friend from high school who are junkies, who are slaves to drugs. They have no will power, they are weak, ugly people. I don't respect them.

Would I pity them? Would I try to help them if they asked me to? Yes. There are so many different shades of grey, and different situations which can occur where you have a mix of feelings for somebody but will still do something to help them if they're in need.

Call me mean. Call me realistic. I'm not on this planet to make sure everybody else is happy--all I can do is honor who I am, and do my best to treat people right. People are so varied, and so fucked up, that you can never please everybody. If you're living right, you won't have to worry about preaching to people who they should or shouldn't respect people, or say fugly or butterface. People will see how you live, and how you are content, and they will want that, and that's the only way you can make somebody change their ways. Not by arguing with them, or telling them--that automatically puts up a defensive barrier and you won't get through.

Practice what you preach. People will see your better quality of life and decide for themselves if they want to make a change. That's all there is to it, and there is nothing more you can do.

And for the record, I agree with Match / Meno on most of these issues. If you want to call an ugly girl a butterface or fugly on an internet forum, go right ahead. If you can't be brutally honest here, where can you? So many people pass through our fleeting lives, there's no time to waste bullshitting ourselves about what we do and don't want. Know what you want and get it, don't settle for less. Even if that's some fugly girl with a puppy dog crush on you--that's not your problem. Live your life to find your own happiness--you can have compassion for people and respect their right to try to do the same thing, but you don't owe anyone any sort of basic obligation other than to not interfere with their ability to live their own lives how they see fit. I think match handled the situation as well as he could, and I'm proud of ya buddy.

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Dont be afraid to change who you are for what you could become