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First off, I don’t believe in the “open” relationship, so my opinion might not be exactly what you are looking for.
I feel the first thing that needs to happen is that you need to communicate this with your wife. You’ve been married for 12.5 years, so this should be relatively “simple” to do. Hold nothing back, and let her voice her response. Marriage, in all forms, should be built around trust, & respect, and communication is the means for that to happen.
Personally, I couldn’t let my wife be with another man, as I couldn’t be with another woman.
I wish you luck as you try to work through this situation.
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