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Dei37 described our position on swinging singly with others. For the woman's safety it's wiser to only play together or at the very least only play with those that we already know fairly well.
I think the key here is respect. It does not sound like she has respect for your reservations. What fosters trust is when the partners show respect for the other's feelings. If you are not comfortable with the situation then you should say no. Express your reasons as clearly as you can. If you were to say yes even though you are not comfortable you will eventually resent the situation. It's harder to go back to where you are now if you let things start. You can make it clear that you aren't saying no permanantly and that it is open to discussion (if you feel that way) but that until you are comfortable with the idea then you cannot go along with it. She should be willing and able to respect your feelings on the subject.
For illustration. I would enjoy playing on my own. Dei37 and I have discussed this and I recognize his discomfort with single play as well as his anxiety for my safety. The option has not been totally ruled out and is open to discussion but for now I respect his desire for me to not go off alone. If I could not respect his feelings then our whole relationship would begin to break down and we would not be able to continue swinging eventually. Respect and trust are so crucial to the swinging or open relationship.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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