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I'm not sure I would call swinging and open relationships all that different. As swingers, yes, we don't want relationships beyond friendships with other couples, but OUR relationship is open, and in my thinking, that is where the term open relationships comes from. In that regards, they are similiar, with swinging being an extension of an open relationship.
On topic to the OP...this just doesn't sound like something 100% healthy to your marriage. If you've been a swinger already, then that does set the groundwork for playing alone. My wife and I don't play alone yet, but ours is based off of two things. Number one is her safety. She's capable, but if the guy has other guys without prior knowledge, or a deadly weapon, her chances are diminished pretty severely. Number two, we each get off on watching each other with others. In your case, mention idea #1 to her, and just say that you're concerned for her safety, and see how she handles that.
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Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.
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