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It's pretty clear your wife craves chaos. "Swinging" and "open relationships" are just overly kind terms for people who have problems with intimacy and regulating impulses. If you aren't married and have no kids, these things are fine. But when kids are involved, it's time to grow up and be a responsible parent. I would go with your instinct about this being a bad idea and probably get some marriage counseling for the sake of the family.
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