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Originally Posted by zipper
Thats basically my situation. My wife wants to be w/another man sexually.
The question is...should I let her?
We have been married for 12.5yrs, we have a pretty solid relationship. We have 2 kids...7 and 9. In the past we have ventured out together...she first expressed interest in being w/a woman. So about 7 yrs ago we started swinging. Only girl/girl at first...but gradually up to "anything goes". We were always together...this was something we did together! Through out our marriage she has hurt me a few times...by being w/other men (she has never cheate though). We'll within the past couple months she has expressed that she wants to venture out on her own. I personally think her best friend (who is a major slut) is influencing this desire. I have always given my wife anything and everything she has ever wanted. I just don't think I can give her this......
Here are my concerns...
First I don't think I am emotionally ready for this
Secondly, I don't think this snowball effect will stop
We both really love each other...she loves (at least she says so), she just craves attention from other men.
PLEASE any advice is appreciated!
Thanks
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Ok lots of red flags here.
First it sounds like you are not too hot on swinging as it is. Swinging is NOT for everyone, and it sounds like you did it for her to start with. Even if thats not the case, if having sex with couples isn't 'enough' for her then it sounds pretty hopeless to me.
What kind of attention is she craving? Swinging should take care of the sex part, so does that mean love, romance, no worry about the kids, feeling desireable?
IMHO your only hope if you are not comfortable with an open marriage (and I don't blame you there) is to get communication going on how you feel, how this makes you feel, and WHY she thinks she needs this. If she indeed loves you she will back away from the abyss here, otherewise start getting the divorce papers ready.