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Old 06-20-2005, 07:15 AM   #18 (permalink)
guthmund
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I'm of two minds on this one...

On the one hand, if my girlfriend wanted to take a break, is okay with me seeing other women, says she won't care if I have sex with them and offers to absolve me of the blame, well....woo. hoo, sir. woo. hoo.

Maybe she's just looking for a bit of space to make sure she's making the right decision. I mean, I like Cheerios just fine, but if I had eaten Cheerios all my life, how could I have known the greatness that is Frosted Shredded Mini-Wheat? If you can find a way to be okay with it, there's a good chance she'll come back with all of it out of her system (you should do the same, I imagine...) and life will move on. I imagine, considerably smoother without all the "what if's" clogging the course.

On the other hand, I agree with Ustwo. She wants to see if there's anything better out there while leaving a foot in your door. She wants to be sure there are no attachments so when she meets the dreamy, unusually well grounded prince who's just looking for a regular girl who loves him for him while she's studying abroad...well, it'll be easier to push you out of the way to make room for the dreamy rich guy with the down to earth personality and uncommonly good looks if she's already got you half way out the door.

I guess it all boils down on where you can stand safely and still respect yourself. Personally, I'd have to know which one it was. The break-up is going to happen, she's already decided and there's nothing you can say to change that. If it was just about sex with new people, I don't think I would have a problem with that. I hate to keep using food analogies, but there all I have right now. Sometimes you get the urge for flavors of ice cream that the local shop just don't have available. You still dig the store and the owner is a fantastic gal, but doesn't stock what you want to buy. If I was being held in the closet as a safety net, I'd have to tell her hit the road. She's not looking to sample new flavors, she wants to knock the whole damn store down and replace it with something better if it can be found. I respect myself a bit too much to put myself in that position.

So, I guess the question is...how much of your self respect are you willing to trade away?
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