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Originally Posted by j8ear
Children need to raised by a mother and a father. Currently social changes not with standing. It's possible, but not ideal, by any stretch of reason, to think that the alternatives are "just as good." They aren't. Not by a long shot.
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I strongly disagree, and the
American Academy of Pediatrics agrees with me:
The American Academy of Pediatrics recognizes that a considerable body of professional literature provides evidence that children with parents who are homosexual can have the same advantages and the same expectations for health, adjustment, and development as can children whose parents are heterosexual.1–9 When 2 adults participate in parenting a child, they and the child deserve the serenity that comes with legal recognition.
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In the situation you describe yourself in, your children's mother will have ~failed~ at her marriage, at best she would have made a bad decision in the first place. How is this ideal? Your children will be harmed.
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What exactly gave you the impression that one of us had a failed marriage? This is the first and only marriage for both of us, and it is strong and healthy.
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It's not a zero sum game. You can't swap one situation for another equally. Some will work adequately, but only one is ideal. That is a two parent mother/father loving family. Anything less is not ideal and is harmful, even if harm which can be overcome.
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I disagree, and again, the
American Academy of Pediatrics agrees with me:
Children born to and raised by lesbian couples also seem to develop normally in every way. Ratings by their mothers and teachers have demonstrated children’s social competence and the prevalence of behavioral difficulties to be comparable with population norms.8,24 In fact, growing up with parents who are lesbian or gay may confer some advantages to children. They have been described as more tolerant of diversity and more nurturing toward younger children than children whose parents are heterosexual.25,26
In 1 study, children of heterosexual parents saw themselves as being somewhat more aggressive than did children of lesbians, and they were seen by parents and teachers as more bossy, negative, and domineering. Children of lesbian parents saw themselves as more lovable and were seen by parents and teachers as more affectionate, responsive, and protective of younger children, compared with children of heterosexual parents.25,27 In a more recent investigation, children of lesbian parents reported their self-esteem to be similar to that of children of heterosexual parents and saw themselves as similar in aggressiveness and sociability.15
Children in all family constellations have been described by parents and teachers to have more behavioral problems when parents report more personal distress and more dysfunctional parent-child interactions. In contrast, children are rated as better adjusted when their parents report greater relationship satisfaction, higher levels of love, and lower interparental conflict regardless of their parents’ sexual orientation. Children apparently are more powerfully influenced by family processes and relationships than by family structure.
My children will be raised by an educational professional and a medical professional, which will give them some advantage in the areas of education and health care over children whose parents aren't reading teachers and nurses/paramedics. This doesn't mean that children are harmed by not having a reading teacher and nurse in the home. Those things can be provided by people outside the home, just as positive adult male role models can come from outside the home. Less than ideal does not equal harmful.