The number of standoffs sometimes matters, it'll be in the manual or update on the website. Sometimes the motherboard manufacturers cheap out by running a ground through those standoffs. So it's not insane at all. But the previous posters methods of doing a 'minimum to maximum' installation of parts will help identify the bad parts, if those parts are bad.
As well with the SANDRA burnin test program, there are specific ram check programs. I vaguely remember one ISO from a linux site that did nothing but check ram and do tests on it. May want to take a look around for that. If I find that site, I'll post it up.
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