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I have dealt with something like this a couple of times. I had a thing for this guy I thought would never go away, even though he was kind of crazy and unreliable, there was something really unique about him. I still feel a little sad when I think of him, but honestly I don't need someone that crazy having control over my emotions - he didn't treat them carefully enough, which is how he broke my heart the first time. Maybe it was the suddenness of it, since I never had a chance to close it out properly. Maybe that's part of why you feel the way you do? Unfortunately we don't always get to choose our scripts for these situations, and we can't impose our terms on someone else because they simply don't cooperate.
It sounds like you're seeing the truth when you say you're in love with someone who doesn't even exist anymore. I think maybe there was something he stood for to you, whether it was a dream or an idea or a feeling, that you want back. The thing is, it's not him - you said so yourself. Not anymore, anyway. So you can make a deliberate choice to stay out of obsessive fantasy land and let time do its work. With time, your feelings will fade and be replaced by healthier ones, hopefully anyway.
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