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tecoyah · 05-07-2005, 04:08 AM

OK.....here goes,

There is a time in all our lives when life altering descisions must be made, some will take the easy route (which never lasts long) and forgo the difficulties and pain of life lesson. Others will accept that something needs to be done and deal with the inevitable hardship, knowing there is no other way to go on with this thing we call life. Perhaps it is time to share a bit of my past with you kramus:

I was married once before, for seven years. The relationship started off well enough, and there was a level of happiness for us both. Time and evolution of spirit brought many changes to what we had, to the point where our paths went in polar opposite directions. I decided four years into this marriage that it could not be healthy ever again...this after two years of "trying to change", primarily because of our son. In my youth I made a commitment to myself to be strong and take the Martyr status, for the benefit of the child. Three years later, and two frigid years of self pity and pain created a new me.
I became enlightened to a small piece of human nature, both mine and hers. Through a series of manipulations (which I will not go into here) I directed her into deciding to divorce me, which was no small task, and took the better part of a year. We are friends to this day and she has no Idea of the puppeteering involved to gain this result. And so my point:

You do not need to go to these lengths , and for that you should be quite happy. By standing up for yourself, and making her think (thus the anger on her part) you have taken the first step in a clean and amiable break. It is my opinion that this is what is required here. Not knowing the details of her , or your personalities I cannot make a competent evaluation of the chances for success in continued friendship...but if I had to guess I would say you are more than capable of making it happen.

Good luck....and think hard of the next steps.

05-07-2005, 04:08 AM	#6 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	OK.....here goes, There is a time in all our lives when life altering descisions must be made, some will take the easy route (which never lasts long) and forgo the difficulties and pain of life lesson. Others will accept that something needs to be done and deal with the inevitable hardship, knowing there is no other way to go on with this thing we call life. Perhaps it is time to share a bit of my past with you kramus: I was married once before, for seven years. The relationship started off well enough, and there was a level of happiness for us both. Time and evolution of spirit brought many changes to what we had, to the point where our paths went in polar opposite directions. I decided four years into this marriage that it could not be healthy ever again...this after two years of "trying to change", primarily because of our son. In my youth I made a commitment to myself to be strong and take the Martyr status, for the benefit of the child. Three years later, and two frigid years of self pity and pain created a new me. I became enlightened to a small piece of human nature, both mine and hers. Through a series of manipulations (which I will not go into here) I directed her into deciding to divorce me, which was no small task, and took the better part of a year. We are friends to this day and she has no Idea of the puppeteering involved to gain this result. And so my point: You do not need to go to these lengths , and for that you should be quite happy. By standing up for yourself, and making her think (thus the anger on her part) you have taken the first step in a clean and amiable break. It is my opinion that this is what is required here. Not knowing the details of her , or your personalities I cannot make a competent evaluation of the chances for success in continued friendship...but if I had to guess I would say you are more than capable of making it happen. Good luck....and think hard of the next steps. __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha