We don't really have any established ground rules for arguments, but here are a few that have evolved over our years together:
1. lurkette will not stomp out of the room, nor will she stomp across the room muttering, if the argument is not going her way
2. no sarcasm
3. ratbastid will not assume lurkette thinks he's an idiot
4. lurkette will not talk like ratbastid is an idiot
5. ratbastid will not gesticulate with his hands near lurkette's face (I get wigged out)
6. ratbastid will not say "that's really unattractive"
OK, I think I've told on both of our bad habits pretty equally.
Other than that, we try to avoid being "positional," having to be right, making personal comments, imitating each other meanly.
Our "do's" include working towards resolution, assuming that the other person loves you, looking for what you can give up, speaking responsibly, and taking responsibility for one's own role in the conflict.