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As a female, I think you did the right thing too. Lessons can hurt sometimes and your daughter, if she grows up, will "get it." When her child is old enough to be in this situation, she'll get it.
Where is your ex in all of this? She sounds like a total noodle and a failure as a diciplinarian.
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Maybe it was over when she chucked me out the Rover at full speed.
Maybe Maybe...
~a-Ha
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