I just got finished emailing PETA my monthly obnoxious letter. Today's little bit of annoyance went like this:
(subject)I'm so sorry...
...but I seem to have gotten juicy calf blood all over my brand new Polo shirt while I was stuffing my fat American face.
Pardon me while I go shoot my guns at beer bottles and watch a fight movie and a football game. Hey, that reminds me: we need some more hotdogs and pig skins! WooooHoooooo!!!
--Aaron
p.s. You people are truely disturbed. Fuck you.
It's just a little something I like to do to keep them on their toesies.
Anyway, I got the usually automated reply email:
Thank you for contacting PETA. Please know that if your e-mail message reports an animal emergency, you will receive a response as soon as possible. However, due to the volume of e-mail we receive, dispatching e-mail messages to the proper party may take one or two days. Therefore, we ask that, if this is an emergency and an animal is in imminent danger, you call our office immediately at 757-622-7382 (if you are calling between 6 p.m. and 8:30 a.m. EST, please listen carefully to the recording for emergency instructions).
I think we could all find "an animal in imminent danger" if we really tried. How's about you go make a call and spice up your day. Or, send them an email:
info@peta-online.org