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Originally Posted by Suave
If I were you, I'd talk to a psychologist about this rather than us. Masturbation has not been correlated to any chronic negative emotional symptoms, but that doesn't mean you couldn't be getting them from it. Everything from here on out will be complete speculation on my part.
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Thanks. To be honest, I'm pretty reluctant to bring this up to psychologist levels. I'm a firm believer in the idea that psychological problems can be solved without professional help, at least in the first stages, so I'm currently thinking over my thoughts and reactions.
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-The increase in testosterone levels could be creating a slight quasi-pubescent hormone boost that you're not used to, increasing some of the negative feelings related to testosterone such as aggression (aggression does not mean one can't be apathetic).
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Exactly... The word I was looking for was exactly that: AGGRESSION. It seems that I get a lot more frustrated than usually and just want everyone to step out of my way, or there will be trouble (although I'd never punch somebody without a very serious reason, I can't help but have such thoughts).
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-You also might have some sort of negative preconceived notion of masturbation as defining a person to be lacking in worth, self-esteem, or prowess (or of being a shameful act). This could lead to negative emotions after you have performed it, as you might attribute negativity towards yourself for having done so.
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This is actually how I have self-diagnosed my problem thus far. As already mentioned, I was always taught that masturbation is a bad thing, and although it gives immense pleasure, I feel bad after doing it most of the time. I feel like I'm giving up a certain subset of the things I was taught as a kid. This is certainly something that makes me unhappy with my behavior, a certain amount of self-loathing being involved in this.
However, there are also other (psychosomatical) side-effects, most notably fatique, difficulty of concentration etc. For a couple of hours after masturbation, it feels as if my head is full of air and (I'm not kidding you here) I tend to lose focus after looking at things. It's like running at half cycles or something... really worrying. The day I have masturbated, I am also less attentive to things going on around me; I feel out of tune with people; I don't feel as nervous (or snappy) around girls as usual (which can be a good thing, if you're cool, but too cool/distant looks plain dumb).