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I have tried to kill myself before, I dont remember much of that day just little flashes. I remember how much i hurt and how much i wanted out, out of everything. Nothing seemed to go right, I was in an abusive controling relationship, everything i tried didnt get me out, he stalked me day and night, there was no escape. At least i didnt hink there was any other way out. When I woke up the next morning I was so happy I was alive, but I still wasnt free. The pain of not dieing was almost worse than the pain i was in before. i thought of my parents and my family and friends I would have left behind and i i realized that i didnt want to die. so i just dealt with everything and when the relationship finally ended he tried to kill me. That was over 5 years ago. Ever since then I have been fighting depression anxiety phobeas.here lately ive been feeling the sme trapped feeling . So many things have happened in my life in the past year. The only thing that holds me is my family and friend. I never want to hurt them, but I dont like feeling like this all the time.
I dont blame anyone who kills themself if they are in pain, but just remember that if they do survive their attempt they most likely will regret it and grab life with both hands, even for a little while. I know i did and still do kinda.
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from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel
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