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i sometimes feel sympathy for the dead, particularly a young person. sure i feel for the family too, but it's not like sympathy is exclusive.
i've felt bad for suicides. some people feel it is a cowardly way out of life and couldn't imagine ever doing it, to them i say i hope you never experience such anguish in your life that you feel the only way to end it is by taking your own life.
i always feel really bad for young people, particularly infants. yes it is horrible for the family, but there is still a sadness for the child and all they missed out on. life is a great thing and they won't know it, that's sad and i feel sorry for them--even if i believed in a perfect heaven, i'd feel bad for what they missed here.
also, i think religious/spiritual beliefs play a role in it. if you believe you die and that's it, then i would think it is easier to just say they're dead and forget about it. but if you believe they go on, then why wouldn't it be appropriate to feel sympathy for them? if you think a loved one is burning in hell, isn't it appropriate to feel a little sorry for them? if you believe they will return in another form at a later date, why not feel sympathy for what they missed out on this time around? if a friend had broken her leg in school and couldn't go to a dance i'd have felt bad for her, even though there would be more dances she could attend later.
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