Hah!
Great responses by everyone, and thanks for the link.
Your friend needs to grow some ovaries (real fast). The perfect response to the following would have been made in the sweetest voice I could muster.
Quote:
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It's hard to adjust to something that I am used to, meaning her vagina, especially since the women on the internet are perfect, how does one settle for regular when they have been exposed to better ones?"
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"I know exactly what you mean, darling. I have the same problem adjusting to you as you're so much smaller than the porn kings I've seen on video, and experienced first-hand. But, I realize that not everyone is perfect, and that real life does not always emulate what we see on film, so I've compromised and settled for you. But, it's all good, baby. After all, we're just regular folks."
And when he returned home the following day, he'd find his belongings, including his tapes of the perfect vaginas, on the curb.