You can't expect a movie to stay completely to the book it was based on. A director shouldn't do that either.
Regarding the LOTR:
To me, the central theme of the books was the strength and loyalty of the hobbits. Jackson recognized it and did very well with it.
Spoiler: For me, the biggest deviation was having Wyrmtongue kill Saruman in the extended edition. At first I was thinking, WTF?!?!?! But once I relaxed, I took the fact that adding the Scouring of the Shire was took long to include and therefore it wraps up Saruman cleanly.
Other things were minor: Aragorn killing the Mouth of Sauron, Gimli as comic relief, igonoring the Ent water effects, etc.
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