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I am going through a similar situation, myself. I was with my boyfriend for 14 months when I decided to bring it to a dead halt for 3 to 3 1/2 months. During the first 14 months he proceeded to break every relationship rule/standard I have...The biggest one: Respect. He ignored me, mooched off of me, disrespected me, took advantage of me and my hard-earned possessions (car, apartment, furniture, food, money, cigarettes, etc.) Out of the 14 months, he held a job for less than 3 of those months (two different jobs) - I worked for 11 months and ended up going on employment strike because he wasn 't looking for a job. It didn't solve much. I had to take it to the extreme...
What finally brought it all to a screeching halt was a few days before our 1 year anniversary (we were fighting A LOT) he told me he didn't want to be with me and had "fallen out of love with me". He still loved me, yes, but the rest was gone. We slowly patched it (stopped fighting = minimum communication) and made an attempt but it was the same sh*t, just delivered differently. One night, I had enough. I cut him off...small fight: I'm done. It's over. I stuck to my decision. When he realized I was dead serious, he pulled his act together. We're back together - there's still work to be done but he made the improvements I asked for: Respect me, my things and get a job, help with housework.
If she cares for you and values you, she has to SHOW you. Not tell you, not promise it. Make her show you!
Calmly bring up in conversation (details of where, when, etc. up to you) how you feel about her and care for her, but that you don't see the feelings being reciprocated and would like her to take a little bit of time to think about and be sure of how she feels about you and when she's ready - both of you work on the problem areas. Communication is the first one I would tackle - she can't run everytime you want to talk; she cannot expect you to remain calm and listen to her reasons for being upset with you when she easily "has to go".
Put out what you want to receive. Give respect, communicate, sacrifice - expect it back! If you don't receive it, look elsewhere when ready and don't look back. If nothing else, she needs to learn to grow up on her own.
Take a break from her. Let her know this. Explain to her, calmly, that you both need to take some time to think and she needs to decide how she feels about you. If she really wants the relationship to work - she MUST respect you in EVERY way. Let her know that you're having difficulty seeing what you put out come back to you.
She really needs to learn to communicate with you, if she doesn't or makes no attempt to improve then move on. She'll only hurt you further if she doesn't wake up and realize what she has...her loss if she's too blind or chooses to avoid the situation.
Be sure to let her know that an unequal and unbalanced relationship is unfair to the both of you and that you both deserve happiness. It's up to both of you to pick which path will lead you to just that.
Hope I helped.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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