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Mzm - I, like everyone, feel terrible for your situation. I hope you don't mind me saying, but I get the sense from your posts that you have a need to continue to play the role of parent and guardian to this adult woman, allowing her to behave like an undisciplined child. Please stop. She will not change, she will continue to see how much she can get away with in her relationship with you like a three year old does with a parent. Love your son enough for two parents, and quit being responsible for your wife and her actions.
She's got nowhere to go? She's a damn adult, people figure this stuff out every day. I know it feels good that she needs you, but your son needs you more, and this is already hurting him. He is watching you closely - show him it's ok to stand up for yourself and take control of the situation. Get it over with. It was her choice to compromise your relationship and trust, she ended the marriage then. You just have to be the one to get ink to paper. She would live off you for as long as you let her.
Sorry if it sounds harsh, voice of experience. Good luck!
__________________
Oft expectation fails...
and most oft there Where most it promises
- Shakespeare, W.
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